For the past week or so I haven't felt like I've had enough to write about. I've had a kidney stone, have been busy at work and have been struggling to get in the right frame of mind to process things/collect my thoughts. Just when I felt like I had made some progress, something really knocked me.
Seeing people with children affects me more lately. It's hard to see so many other parents just... being with their kids. I feel such a strong longing to hold Lily in my arms. It's like a part of my body is missing. Something that should be there. Last night everything hit me again. It's so final. While I am on this earth I will never again hold my little girl. There is nothing I can do that will bring her back.
It's a reality I'm going to have to face for the rest of my life. Yes I appreciate the time I had with her, and I wouldn't change anything if I could go back in time, but it really does feel like I'm missing a body part and I'm not complete.
Today I'm thankful for: The blessed life I have. Although I have lost something so precious, I still have so much.
Seeing people with children affects me more lately. It's hard to see so many other parents just... being with their kids. I feel such a strong longing to hold Lily in my arms. It's like a part of my body is missing. Something that should be there. Last night everything hit me again. It's so final. While I am on this earth I will never again hold my little girl. There is nothing I can do that will bring her back.
It's a reality I'm going to have to face for the rest of my life. Yes I appreciate the time I had with her, and I wouldn't change anything if I could go back in time, but it really does feel like I'm missing a body part and I'm not complete.
Today I'm thankful for: The blessed life I have. Although I have lost something so precious, I still have so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment